Apologies for the delay since my last post. It’s been a busy week…of doing not very much! One of those weeks you get caught up in the mundane…
My last post was Everyone knows you start a diet on a Monday… and of course today is Tuesday – the diet has begun! However, following the wonderful advice from Bloomin’ Uterus I have decided rather than diving in full throttle, I will take the much more sensible route of cutting out one potentially sensitive food at a time. Choosing my poison, avoiding said poison for three weeks and then reintroducing to see what, if any, effect cutting the poison has had. I will then either continue with my usual eating habits with/without the food type and remove another until voila – I know my trigger foods (and avoid them).
The first I have chosen is dairy for the simple fact of – I already know dairy is a trigger. A girl who loves brie and ice-cream as much as I do is well aware that dairy is not her friend.
So with no more brie in the fridge, a diversion from the Ben & Jerry’s aisle in place, a mayonaise & sour cream shaped hole on my shelf and … *swoon* not one piece of chocolate in my cupboard, I have begun my dairy free journey. So far, I can’t say I’m a fan.
To compound my misery Lady Red paid me a visit, mid morning yesterday, so not only am I miserable without my chocolate wheetos in the morning – I’m bloated, emotional, in pain and craving my greatest comfort – ALL THE CHOCOLATE AND CHEESE.
But I have stayed strong. Berry Granola and coconut yoghurt with honey for breakfast, oat milk in my coffee, ham and beetroot salad pittas for lunch and chicken with sweet potato or a hot chicken salad for tea. I have taken this opportunity to overcome my aversion to fruit, vegetables I love! But fruit, not so much. I figure it will be a good opportunity to try new fruits as I tame the sugar cravings. I have discovered I don’t like apricot, pears are doable. I swapped my usual chocolate binge for a gorgeous melon this evening. I am feeling good about myself but man I wish my period had picked a better time!
The problem I am having is that I am an active girl with a high metabolism – yes, one of those girls that I see Facebook memes about. I can eat my own weight in junk food, sweet treats and cheese, staying the same size. This is an issue because henceforth, I haven’t really had to diet – if I ever put weight on, I just cut down a touch, temporarily, until I lost those few pounds and upped my exercise a touch. Having to exercise true restraint is new and hard. But I’m reminding myself that this could be my ticket to pain free and if I’m feeling vain, possibly to bloat free. Maybe I could be fitter, more able to care for and ride Prince. And not just ride when I can but ride well, acheive the things I want to without worry of pain. I could be a more present fiancé to G, less the partner that is always unwell but a happier, more proactive member of the relationship. Maybe I could be me again for myself, for G, for my cats, for my family, for work and for Prince (and I can always sneak a slice of brie on a cheeky day…).
In other goings on since my last post, I had a wonderful weekend with Prince! This winter my big brave boy became terrified of poles (for non equestrians: the colourful poles horses jump over at the Olympics!) this was such a shame. Personally I do enjoy jumping however, the happiness of Prince is infinitely more important so if he disliked the discipline, I wouldn’t push it. However, I knew this was a confidence crisis, not a dislike of jumping, because honestly, he comes to life when you take him into a ring full of jumps and the moment his rider points him at a fence, the brakes fail spectacularly! Nevertheless, I found myself coming to a grinding halt when approaching a jump, or even a pole on the ground.
I have been patient, dotting poles in inocuous places when riding to just wander past. He has grazed in the jumping paddocks to accustom him to them again and I have done a lot of “I walk over and you follow…good boy! Have a mint!”. It has been a long process with very little breakthrough, until this weekend.
After some lazy schooling (for non equestrians: riding without jumps and teaching him how to move nicely, getting him fit and balanced) we followed my friend into the jumping paddock, the plan being she would jump whilst Prince and I wandered about. Well, I felt my lad liven up the moment we entered, he was pulling towards jumps, bucking with excitement – the brakes were failing!
So I took my chance, I pinned my heels down, sat deep (he can be dramatic when expressing his aversion to an activity) and followed my friend over a pole in walk – he went straight over and broke into an excited trot. After trying my luck a few more times and finding him stepping over each pole willingly, with excitement, I scoped the field for a small jump. Aha! There was a small jump, tiny, the kind small children trot over on a Shetland pony for their first jump – I’ll try that one!
I trotted round, faced him at the jump and sat as securely as possible – he jumped it! He landed ears pricked, flat out canter, looking for the next fence.
After a few more jumps I decided not to push my luck much further – I quite like remaining mounted! And I didn’t want to undo the massive step he’d taken. So to finish up I took him into one of our large fields and let him do what the hell he fancied – it was fantastic! We trotted, pranced, cantered, spooked and bucked – he even gave me our first gallop.
I tried junping again Sunday and found to my glee – he still loved it. I am praying this really is a step forward (you never know with Prince).
So all in all, although I’m feeling pretty grouchy without my usual comfort foods, I feel positive. I’m making good steps forward in self managing my condition whilst awaiting my specialist appointment. Despite being hindered by my condition, I’m making positive steps forward with Prince and I really hope we can start making some even bigger steps, maybe get back to where we were with jumping before his crisis (and then get even better!).
My biggest bugbear at the moment is that due to a combination of dairy withdrawal and my period, I’m a pretty moody and withdrawn partner at the moment and I do feel for poor G, but I hope that fog will clear within the next few days as good nutrition makes its mark (and my Lady Time fucks off…excuse my French).
I hope everyone reading feels well ❤️